out of this world

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up doing what I'm doing. The choice to be an actress, an artist, a writer, a wanderer - to lead a generally un-practical and uncertain life can often feel entirely arbitrary. I frequently find myself wondering - why couldn't I have become a veterinarian or something? I was good at science. I like animals. Is it too late? Should I change my mind about this whole thing? I'm not griping about the difficulties of an artist's life - all paths have their bumps in the road. I'm simply musing on why it is that I am where I am. I am not a person who believes in "destiny" or what is "meant to be." I was a good student - there were a lot of things I could have done if I'd wanted to. But I didn't. I decided to come to Hollywood where every other pretty girl is trying to get her face "in pictures." And beyond that - I don't really know why I love to act. It is a superficial business in many ways and I occasionally become concerned that I am in it for all the wrong reasons - ego, validation, because I think it will make people like me (which we know, of course, isn't really the case)...

But despite all of this, I do what feels right. I keep working. And sometimes, the validation comes not in the form of "You were so great!" but in the form of "Yes, I am supposed to be doing this. This is good for me." And when it feels right - I don't care why I'm doing it because it makes me feel like I can do anything. And that's the best feeling in the world.

I recently wrapped on my first feature film, Off World, and that is just the way this production made me feel. Playing the track-star, serious student, generally badass Shelly who confronts all kinds of mysterious dangers when her spaceship crash lands on an unknown planet was just right for me. I never thought of sci-fi/horror as a genre I'm particularly suited to. I never thought I'd find myself running through the woods from a monster at 1 in the morning wearing motorcycle pants (and five layers underneath them to fight the unbearable cold...in vain). Much less did I think I'd enjoy it. Yet, I did.
And it is just those kind of surprises that makes this journey a satisfying one.

The director, Emmett Callinan, hopes to have the film completed by the summer. I'll post updates as they come. Here are a couple photos in the meantime:

new year, new project, new adventures

Well. Somehow another year has passed. It always seems to come as a shock.

2009 included some very exciting theater projects for me (The Echo One Acts, Doomsday Kiss!, 1001 Arabian Nights of the Living Dead, and NIBBLER) as well as the formation of my relationship with Origin Talent. I also shot two spec commercials, a webisode, an independent pilot, and some other little fun tidbits along the way. I've encountered aliens, been an 8 year old boy, kissed some very handsome men, and traveled to the future. Acting is awesome.

One of my major goals and hopes for 2010 is to progress my on-camera acting career and I'm starting off with a bang! Starting tomorrow (!!) I am embarking on a two week adventure filming the independent sci-fi/horror feature Off World. I play Shelly - a tough, independent, all around badass lady who knows how to handle herself in some tricky situations. Off World follows 6 college-aged kids in the future when their spring break plans don't go exactly as hoped... (won't give away more than that...). I am so excited (and a bit nervous!) to be working in a medium that is still relatively new to me and in a genre that is not the most familiar territory. I'll let you know how it goes...

Cheers to an intense 2010!